Sorry, this is a rant.
Yes, reactions differ. I have a loved one, male, whom I often admire for his kindness and generosity. On the other hand, often enough his reactions to things leave me open mouthed and reeling. Last night I told him about my friend’s relative, displaced by Katrina.
“Well, surely he has insurance,” was about as far as his heart/mind would take him. It’s just stupid. If he does have flood insurance, how fast are those checks going to get cut, anyway? And what about the stress, the emotional toll, the being away from work? The loss of income? How about not being about to find out news about any of your friends? Wondering if they’re lost, trapped, dead? Maybe my guy has the attitude that if someone is dumb enough to live in New Orleans without flood insurance, dumb enough to not have plenty of savings put by for disasters, etc., that s/he deserves whatever hardship s/he suffers? This is the height of Puritan arrogance, for Christ sakes. The ‘ole Blessed Be the Hard Workers and Everyone Else Is Going To Hell doctrine. Total Morals a la Americana. The thing is, my guy believes himself to be as far from Puritan as possible. Funny.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s related to his alcoholism (not active), like it’s some form of denial. Everyone is ok. Everything will be ok as long as I don’t watch/listen/think too much. Or feel.
Times like this, I wonder: what am I doing? Why do I spend so much time wishing he would marry me? What in the world am I looking for in a mate, anyway? Isn’t compassion right up there at the top of the list, with honesty and kindness? Isn’t compassion under fire, compassion before the facts are in, compassion when disdain or dismissal would be far easier more virtuous or full of heart or whatever than compassion only for those whose Deep Correctness is obvious?
People aren’t perfect, I know. But at times like these we should all of us who are warm and dry and fed try, really, to be as perfect (to one another) as possible.
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