Don't Cook Naked!

At least not when hot oil is necessary. I ended up in the emergency room this morning after carelessly tossing a hamburger into smoking oil as I, still half asleep and dreaming of our upcoming trip to see the Dalai Lama, was trying to make lunch for work. Splattered super-hot oil all over my torso and the tops of my thighs. I ran to bathroom, turned the shower on cold, and let it run over me for five minutes. Then a dousing with aloe, then another five minutes with ice cubes wrapped in a cloth.

Then is a daze I got dressed in a little black dress I usually reserve for evening, but I needed something really lose and there it was, and went to work, worrying that I would miss the 8:30 meeting I’d called. Before presenting my material I told my boss and coworker what had happened, explaining that I may be a little less coherent than usual because I was in some degree of pain, and requesting that they tell only their wives and not spread the image of my frying hamburgers naked and half awake first thing in the morning all over work(!), when my boss responded by telling me to get my ass to the emergency room and that we could deal with the meeting issues afterward. Thanks, boss. I do appreciate that.

So, a few laughs from the emergency room staff later, I’ve got some red hot welts but luckily the burns are only 1st degree. Tetanus shot, codeine, aloe, fish and chips at the Tap Room and back at work.

Honestly, as I was jumping around the house cursing and crying, thoughts of His Holiness kept popping into my head, and I would calm down a bit, imagining how he might be equipped with a mantra or two that would help with the pain. Funny.

So really, I’m serious. There is a reason why one should not fry food in the nude.
Only I could have a moment that blond. Only I.